Britain’s mouldy cheese wheel, Iain Duncan Smith, has rolled himself out of the fridge and proposed a solution to the Irish Border problem, which until now, had seemed unresolvable.
“A seamless Irish border solution is readily available,” Irritable Duncan Syndrome droned, “people just have to show a little imagination and patriotism and get behind the country.”
But what is the solution Iain? Is it a construction of a physical manifestation of universal credit on the Irish Border?
“That sort of talk will get you into trouble. Traitor,” Irrational Debt Spend retorted, “you just have to look no further than the solution adopted by our good friends and neighbours on the Korean Peninsula.”
You do know they’re still technically at war, don’t you Iain?
“Getting lost in soundbites won’t help anyone,” Imagine Doing Something hit back, “The border between North and South Korea is a seamless border that utilities tried and test technology that has been in use for decades now.”
So you’re saying two armies facing off with thousands of artillery pieces ready to fire at a moment’s notice, and a massive aerial bombardment from the United States also constantly ready to fall from the sky?
“Oh, I don’t know if we need to involve the United States,” I Doom Spectre replied, “well, not at least until it’s time to start arms smuggling again.”
Thanks IDS, we don’t know what we’ll do if you ever get locked out of the BBC radio studios.
“Probably shout less at the radio while making your eggs in the morning.”
Wow. He actually said something provable and true.