As the Brexit negotiations continue to get ever more farcical, one new consequence has come to light, concerning the deportation of certain individuals with non-British names, including, ironically, part-time UKIP leader Nigel Farage.
Home Office spokeswoman Dee Portham had this to say on the matter:
“After Brexit goes ahead, we will be deporting certain individuals whose names are a bit foreign sounding, including Mr Farage, whose name is French.”
When asked for comment, Mr Farage spent an entire episode of Question Time calling it an outrage, peppering his descriptions with several choice words that it’s best not to repeat in polite conversation. We spoke to him after he’d calmed down a bit (but not a lot), and he said:
“It’s an outrage. It’s totally and utterly ridiculous. Deport me because my name isn’t British? Why, Nigel is as British as roast beef and football hooliganism!”
Unfortunately for him, his surname comes from the Huguenots of old France. That’s what the fuss is about.
“That’s ridiculous. Throw me out because of that? That was centuries ago! Why should I have to suffer for that? I can’t go and live in France, it’s full of foreign Johnnies.”
Well, foreign Jeannies in this case, but I wasn’t going to quibble.
The French government have also responded to this, with an official from the Ministry for the Interior, Didier Ever, making the statement:
“The people of France have no desire to grant residence to such a man as that. We do not want him getting too amicable with Marine Le Pen and breeding a new race of bigots.”
Mrs Portham has offered him a way to remain in the UK.
“He can always change his surname by deed poll to something more British sounding. He could change it to Farridge if he wants to keep the essence of his original name. Or he could change it to Smith or Jones or anything he chooses.”
Mr Farage was less than thrilled at the prospect.
“Change my surname? Are you joking? Why should I have to do that?”
As the only other way to avoid this would be to cancel Brexit, it looks like Mr Farage – or potentially Mr Farridge – has quite a decision to make.