A man who hasn’t got a clue what he’s doing is to explain today that post Brexit Britain won’t be entirely a cannibalism based diet.
“It will be better to think of it as an aggressive hunter and gathering type society,” David Davis, Secretary of State for Exiting the EU, will reassure, “a traditional British lifestyle. Approximately 10,000 BC.”
This has raised the hopes of ancient animal fanciers that Brexit Britain will also mean a return of the mammoth?
“It’s possible,” Davis will assert, “why not? As I understand it Theresa May is in the process of setting up a year long review into bringing back the mammoth, in order to provide variety in the meat based diet post Brexit.”
It’s understand the motivation is not only to give people something to hunt, other than people, but,
“Hunting a large and dangerous woolly animal will show Britons working together in a way we haven’t done since we joined the EU in 1933. I understand PETA has got their knickers in a twist over plans to wear fur again, but there’s always extremists.”
It would also be a boon to tourism operators who are understood to be made nervous with the expected extinction of any air based travel methods to and from the UK in spring 2019.
Although there will still be food drops, so long as the transition agreement can agree on the wording with Barnier.
“This is just sensible planning on behalf of Her Majesty’s Government,” Davis will waffle on, “Although it’s important everyone able bodied does their bit. I advise you to not burn wood now.
You should save it for after Brexit. Sharpened stakes and cooking fires will light up the landscape. And scavenge whatever scrap steel you can now.
You never how prised it maybe once roaming hordes of hoodies are ravaging the landscape in search of an easy meal on a mobility scooter.”