The closure of London City airport due to the discovery of an unexploded WW2 bomb has left a rising star of the public service fuming after his flight was grounded.
“It’s not like the bloody device is liable to go off before my flight leaves the ground,” Liam Fox fumed,
“I’m going to miss my 10,000 air miles for today because of this over reaction on the part of the Mayor of London.
Why didn’t they get the RAF to handle this? Royal Navy bomb disposal squad? As if they’ll understand the importance of what I do by flying around the world in business class for Britain day in, day out, presenting our offer to asset strip the whole U.K. show after Brexit.”
The device, believed to have been lurking in George V dock since WW2 just to upset a serious businessman like Mr Fox, was discovered yesterday morning after the ground was disturbed to begin the foundations for a new gigantic air freight customs warehouse.
“It would be much easier if they removed the device on WTO terms,” Mr Fox continued, “No one would object to that. Most of the world removes unexploded ordinance that way.”
Mr Fox was given support by other public servants, most notably IDS who was wheeled out of the fridge he’s kept in at the BBC radio4 Today programme studio to comment.
“This is a classic underhand move from people opposed to Brexit who refuse to recognise the overwhelming mandate for change delivered by the British people in 1975,” Irritable Duncan Syndrome burst crackling into life.
He was momentarily turned to quiet mode until he was reprogrammed to respond to the closure of the airport.
“Mr Fox is a cheerleader for the future of Britain,” IDS tried again, “proving decisively that British air miles for British officials paid for by the European Union will make Britain great again.”
Luckily for Mr Fox, both the Guinness Book of Records (air travel section) and the various tyrants he spends his time expressing “shared values” with are willing to wait while he takes a limo over to Gatwick.
There he will catch a special government chartered flight that will circle over England until the Secretary of State for International Trade has achieved his daily 10,000 air miles target.
“This is what the British people can achieve by uniting behind Brexit,” IDS added, as he was wheeled back towards the fridge,
“Did you know Liam Fox had flown business class further than the moon by April 2017?
God only knows how far he has travelled now in business class for no discernible benefit but the eating of canapés in foreign climes.”
We’re currwntly looking behind curtains so Adam Werrity can comment too.