Reeks & Smogg have allegedly seized on a gap in the consumer market as an opportunity to sell ‘snake oil’ and they’ve the right man for the sales job.
A representative of the alternative herbal products company, which has modelled itself on Holland & Barratt, with the exception that the products Reeks & Smogg sell will make you ill, spoke to LCD Views on the benefits of their new product, Jacob’s Oils.
“We have tested it in the Badlands of South Dakota and been surprised by the number of Trump T shirt clad customers purchasing our product,” the Somerset businessman said, “It is literally flying off the shelves. And the customer reviews are rave, even if unintelligible.”
An Exeter R&M shop assistant told us,
“We started stocking Jacob’s Oils in the UK in the summer of 2016.
At first it was a slow seller.
But sales increased significantly just before Christmas 2017. His media profile seems to be rising even as the light dims over his former competitor Nigel of Nigel’s Creams for democratic boils.”
LCD Views has to say we were amazed to see Jacob’s Oils recommended on the ITV Robert Peston show, on the 4th February 2018, by former head of the civil service Lord O’Donnell in his reference to a group of government snake oil salesmen.
Upon further investigation Dominic Raab and Micheal Gove suggested they use Jacob’s Oils to promote their chest hair growth.
This concurs with the buyers in South Dakota who said they also bought the product following Melania Trump, and her slip of the tongue to Voque, about The Donald and his use of numerous hair growth products.
“Donald recommends Jacob’s Oils by Reeks & Smogg, instead of Brylcreem, every day. Just rub it on your brain and you’re away.”
It’s almost as if they’re all in on it together…