Great news of advancing preparations for Brexit by the government today with the announcement that proper British queuing is to be taught in British schools, instead of tolerance, to better prepare tomorrow’s leaders for Brexit.
We’re not sure who is currently education secretary, it’s such a hot potato, who’d want it? So we invented a spokesman for the Department of Education.
“I’ll serve well enough,” said Bumble-UKuf, MP for Tommorow, “this is bold and imaginative planning on behalf of your government catering for the needs of your children, yesterday and the day about seventy years before yesterday.”
Under the new guidance, which must be followed by all schools but “free schools”, modules in British queuing will,
”Replace that all outmoded PC gone mad crap we’ve been shovelling down our kids throat ever since we decided wars and food rationing were bad things.
We’ll the new golden era of true British racism is being born again. No more attempting to understand and accept, to avoid inter-national conflict.
Tub thumping classes will replace music lessons shortly too, by order of your Prime Minister.”
We asked our team of education correspondents what they thought of all this?
”Do we have to wait in line and talk one at a time?” the choir returned.
Yes of course! We can see our entire platoon of education reporters will be down for remedial classes.
”I think it’s great,” A Student replied, “tolerance, respect for neighbours, sense of community, loyalty to friends, those are all provably shared values among many cultures.
But proper British queuing? That’s what we do best! We’ll show the world how queuing is done again after Brexit.”
Mostly of course for bread and if we’re lucky a nip of counterfeit schnapps.
Queue for Britain. Go on. Form an orderly line. You know you want to queue for Britian.