LCD Views’ parliamentary reporter has phoned in from a pub off Westminster Green to reveal MP’s are dropping support for Brexit like a bag of flaming shit.
”It’s an obscure bit of legislation attached to the 1974 European Economic Communities act,” O. Cromwell reports,
”basically, the law links the future pensions, and the present ability to claim expenses, to the success of any future EU withdrawal bill. And curiously, demands, post any withdrawal, that supportive MP’s only eat imported American grown food. Nice bit of foresight.”
It seems very few members for parliament are aware of the existence of the law, named ‘the decline and fall blowback provision’.
”So few MP’s have engaged in any serious investigation of the ramifications of Brexit, that hardly any we’re aware Brexit may have a personal, financial cost.”
Is that because most are confident they can just hide in the shadows, let the disaster happen, and then say,
‘I was only following orders. Can I have my pension now please? I’m retiring to work on the board of a company linked to the ministry I worked at while in government?’
”Something like that. Teflon suit sales are booming. It’s one of the key British industries that are finding tangible benefits from Brexit.”
But can’t MP’s just repeal the bill and continue to claim?
”In theory yes. However, they would have to abolish the constitutional monarchy to do so, thanks to the link to the “absolutist reform bill” of 1689, which linked any future European Treaties, designed by a post war generation of MP’s, to the threat of return of absolutism. Very few are willing to do that.
They don’t want to be remembered as the generation that elected a president, especially with what’s going on across the pond. Although, arguably, the Henry VIII powers in the EU Withdrawal Bill are doing more than that, if passed.”
So Brexit is finished?
”We’ll have to see about that. The majority of MP’s really backing Brexit, the ultras, keep their cash offshore in US and Euro accounts. The bigger the disaster, the bigger the profit for them and the gaggle of dark money backers of Brexit. This might just encourage them.”
How will Labour respond to this?
”They’ll have Keir Starmer write a ditty and play the ukulele in the commons, like usual, but they’re likely as things stand, to be the last party still holding the flaming bag of shit.”