LCD Views’ light entertainment correspondent is as manic as a terrier with a rat at the announcement that leader of the official inopposition, Jeremy Corbyn MP, has filmed a special episode of ‘Tattoo Fixers’ during which his old tattoo is corrected from “H O L D F A S T” to “L O V E B R E X I T”.
“This is just classic television,” S Sassage said, waving a copy of Radio Times.
“This brings real clarity to firstly the question, why has Jezza been concealing his hand tats in gloves lately, and also, where does he really stand on Brexit?
It’s probably also to protect the extra finger he’s had sewn on just for the tattoo. This shows commitment to Brexit.”
It’s believed the re-inking move was in part motivated by how difficult it’s been for Jeremy to communicate to the Labour Party members, what he really thinks about Brexit.
“Pretty much his every action has been pro-Brexit.
From the morning of the 24th June 2016, when he playfully suggested Article 50 should be triggered immediately, to the constant crossing the floor to vote with May’s government.”
It’s presumed that once millions of people see his new tattoos they’ll finally accept that the leaders of the a Conservatives, and Labour, are on the same page on Brexit.
“There’s been too much division in our politics lately,” Sassage observes,
“having the leaders united in fulfilling the hard right, neocon, wet dream of Brexit, is really unifying.
Even if Jezza hilariously thinks he can magic it into Lexit, whatever that is in 2018!”
It’s presumed the 60-70% of Labour members who don’t want Brexit, will finally accept that what the supporters of Labour constituencies who voted Leave wanted in June 2016, whatever their reasons for voting, will guide the party forever.
“The young members need to go back to looking at Candy Crush on their phones,” Sassage goes on,
“what they want doesn’t figure. Let your elders decide.
You know, the ones who are going to push up daisies as you enjoy post Brexit food riots, after Russia crashes our digital infrastructure because the Secretary of Defence is not up to his job.”
While this will certainly be exciting TV, it does come with a warning,
“If you’re going to emulate the cult god JC and get inked up, do it at home.
Needle and a black marker is all you need. Damn sight cheaper than paying a professional tattooist.”
And for those who liked the old Jeremy’s H O L D F A S T naval themed tattoos? “Forget it. The old Jeremy has sailed.
And if you don’t get it that he loves Brexit after this, he’s going to come around your house and scream it at you over breakfast.”