Exciting news from the world of light entertainment today with the announcement that struggling broadcaster, British Broadcasting Corporation, is to grab a lifeline by merging with the evergreen Nigel Farage Corp.
“I’m over the moon,” J Bumblephrys, political editor on BBC flagship Yesterday, told our corporate takeover correspondent.
“Although it’s really just cementing what is already an extremely close working relationship, that borders on the shamelessly erotic at times.”
The merger, which is expected to be rubber stamped by DexEU on Friday, will see even more output from the Nigel Farage Corp on the publicly funded airwaves.
“There was a concern that with Nigel’s last light entertainment series, UKIP, receiving less viewers by the day, that the BBC would have to start generating some content of its own again,” Bumblephrys commented, “happily that’s not a concern now with the pilot episode of ‘The Brexit Party’ receiving rave reviews by upper management. Although I personally had ready years of ear grabbing content from NFC to replay in place of actually interrogating the lies to expose them,
“Those days are mercifully gone with the governing directive “will of the people” coming down from the top.”
For his part, CEO of the Nigel Farage Corporation, Nigel Farage, was similarly effusive.
“Imagine if you’ve made a name for yourself whipping up hysteria over emotive subjects that need sober consideration to separate lies from reality and you want to reach the widest possible audience so your shadowy backers get the biggest bang for their buck?”
You need the reach of a taxpayer funded organisation that has forgotten it doesn’t need to chase ratings, and is prepared to work with you in a symbiotic pairing?
“Yes. This merger is a dream come true, even if it’s just cementing in fact what has been happening in practice in reality. My life coach Steve Bannon is very pleased.”
Public response to the announcement is expected to be overwhelmingly positive and will be reported as such by the BBC regards of what it actually is.
“That episode of Yesterday,” Nigel added, “when John said my catchphrase, will of the people, 987 times in five minutes, I knew I’d made it for good then.”
Further reassurance was given to Mr Farage that even if he fails to be re-elected as an MEP the BBC will still provide wall to wall coverage of his every utterance, 25 hours a day, 8 days a week, 400 days a year.