In an exclusive interview with LCD Views, sovereign of an independent Great Britain, Henry VIII, has refused to say if he would chop Anne Boleyn’s head off, should she find herself on the chopping block again.
“We’d have to glue it back on again,” Henry chuckled, “and I’m not even sure I want to do that yet.”
Henry next went on to muse about recent goings on in parliament.
“I must say, it was a great wheeze getting the EU Withdrawal Bill through,” the monarch chortled, “all the absolute power I now have. Time limited of course. Much more fun than when I was just Prime Minister.”
As to the growing number of petitions his office is receiving regarding glueing Anne Boleyn’s head back onto her shoulders?
“Off means off.”
We asked our medical expert, Professor Cromwell, if it would legally possible to chop Anne’s head off twice?
“Look what they did with Oliver Cromwell after the restoration of the monarchy? Hung, drawn, quartered and shot out of a cannon. And he’d been dead for some time. Still very painful I expect.”
As he wasn’t much use we asked Sir Francis Drake.
“I’m just a duck called Sir Francis, why you asking me?”
As yet, there is no cross party support for re-executing Anne Boleyn, or even for gluing her head back onto her shoulders so it would be possible to chop it off again.
“It doesn’t really matter what the people think,” Henry added, “now the withdrawal bill is through I can do what I like. What’s your neck size, just out of curiosity?”