Scientists working at the world famous University of Strife have released details of an eighteen year long study into the millennium bug, or Why2K?, as it was also commonly known in 1999.
“We should have just let it happen,” lead researcher Professor A Pocalypse reveals, “we’ve been running the real world simulation for years, where we prevented the bug, and it’s a bloody disaster.”
The professor points to the actual situation as it is now.
“But in the simulations, where the millennium bug was allowed to proceed, there were a few days of lost productivity, airlines were grounded, but mostly people were forced to stay home and enjoy time with family and friends.
There were food shortages in industrialised societies within days.
But suburbs reorganised their social structures into clans again.
Pretty soon everyone got over the raiding neighbouring districts for food thing, and sources of forced labour, and just settled down to a close lifestyle with nature. As they had the cultural memory to not repeat those mistakes for too long.
Everyone worked out how to grow their own food again. Fish stocks suffered a bit.
At the moment, in the simulation where Why2K? occurs, the palace of Westminster is being torn down and rebuilt as a pyramid. It’s very impressive.
There are no longer parliamentary expenses scandals. There’s no Brexit!
Ray Winstone is King of Luton. No one saw that coming. He’s currently fortifying the city before the fighting season begins again against Rees-mogg’s slave empire. Ray is very down on that sort of thing.
And the northern regions of England are much happier.
They’ve worked through back to refighting the Wars of the Roses already.
It’s hoped this time they’ll agree on a colour pattern for a rose that everyone will use in their pubs.
And there is no Trump. No threat of climate change. Actually, the Earth is about to experience an ice age. Which should be very interesting to witness.
How will southerners cope without central heating?”
Critics have pointed out though that as the simulations do not include the other nations of the United Kingdom, or even seem to realise the Midlands exist, they’re not a part of the “north”, it’s hardly conclusive, especially as the late 1990’s were perhaps more progressive in these ways.
Head of Social Sciences at the University of Life, Dr Fu Wobble, is also scathing,
“It’s pointless. It’s just more money wasted on modelling something that was clearly never going to be a problem, as it never happened. They’re wasting hard earned taxpayer’s money on this rubbish? I bet they think we can’t achieve a deep and special relationship with other countries by acting like a toddler too? Muppets.”
But Professor A Pocalypse is not having that,
“The University of Life is full of people who think Donald Trump and Nigel Farage aren’t racists. None of their research is worth spit.
And besides, do you see them answering the question, exactly how cold does it need to get in the north for someone to put on a coat?
Another year or two, once the mammoth has evolved again out of Jersey cows, we’ll have the answer.”