BREAKING NEWS: The true meaning of Brexit has finally been revealed! Brexit means never having to say you’re sorry.
Brexit has unfolded like an unlikely love story. A romance between the aristocratic decision makers and the down-to-earth Will of the People. This unlikely romance has blossomed, but, as in any good romance, it is surely doomed to end in tragedy.
The early heady days passed in a blur, but as time passed, the grim realities of life gradually intervened. It was convenient to forget the practicalities. The Northern Irish border. The good things about EU membership. The fact that there was no way on God’s earth that we would ever get as good a deal as we currently have.
Slowly but surely, the Will of the People is getting sick. The romance has been poisoned, and treatment is needed. The rulers have already spent a great deal of money to ensure that Brexit may proceed, but reality is not responding as it should. Soon, even greater sums will have to be found from the Magic Money Tree as the country desperately tries to find a cure.
The Will of the People is dying. Soon Will will be no more, as the tragedy reaches its climax. Will our great rulers then be obliged to apologise for wasting all that cash on a chimera? No, because Brexit means never having to say you’re sorry.
LCD’s Poncy Arts And Literature correspondent describes the tragedy of Brexit as “sub-Shakespearian”. Extensive interrogation ensued, following which this analysis emerged. “I say sub-Shakespearian, because in a good Shakespearian tragedy both parties die in tragic and avoidable circumstances,” he said, itching to write several books of literary criticism on the subject. “This is the more modern tragedy, where we examine the grief of the remaining party. Although in this case they are almost certain to blame the victim.”
Meanwhile, chimeras will join unicorns, wyverns and kelpies on the endangered species list.