The chief negotiator for the European Union, Michel Barnier, called for an immediate freeze on freedom of movement within the EU 28 this afternoon.
“Just until we can work out what the hell is going on,” Mr Barnier added,
“I had this racist clown in my office all morning banging on about borders and taking back control and immigration and Britain being full, it was appalling. He was straight out of the 1930’s.”
It appears Barnier didn’t recognise Farage at first.
“Apparently he is an elected MEP who struts about constantly complaining that the EU is undemocratic in some sort of endless stand up act. I didn’t recognise him. He’s never turned up to do a full day’s work as an MEP as far as I can tell.”
The fact that Farage is a surname of French derivation added to the confusion.
“I thought he must be one of Le Pen’s useful idiots. But apparently he is some English blowhard who is most likely working for the Kremlin. This alone explains why I now agree with the Brexit mob that we need tighter EU border control and an immediate end to freedom of movement.”
Mr Barnier went on to say he was also in favour of retrospectively tightening up the qualifications for receiving an EU pension.
“Mr Farage has done nothing even close to work in the EU parliament, in spite of apparently being elected to it for many years. It’s hard to see how working to destabilise a trading union that has helped reinforce peace in Europe since WW2 equates to a pension once he’s made his own position extinct?”
Additionally Mr Barnier suggested the building of a wall around the entire United Kingdom.
“If it stops men who micmic racist Nazi propaganda in referendum campaigns from getting into my office I’m all for it.
The United Kingdom can pay for it too, with its automotive, aerospace, pharmaceutical and financial services industries over the next few years.”
EU border control have been told to watch out for Mr Farage attempting to cross the channel again and to halt him at the border until his passport is blue. At which point he will be charged for a visa and asked to queue a very long time.
Oh those silly Eurocrats, Farage got himself a German one after the referendum.
He maybe the worst we can produce and an appalling hypocrite who has set a destructive and divisive national agenda that both leaders of both main political parties at Westminster have currently signed up to, but he’s no fool.
“Perhaps your politicians at Westminster, Mr Corbyn and Ms May, could have a little talk about whose vision of the future of the U.K. they are working to fulfil?”