Game specialists Nintendo have launched a special sequel to their smash hit game ‘Pokemon Bro’ in reaction to the withering Conservative Party membership in the U.K.
“Pokemon Tory Membership will allow players to walk around their local area searching for Conservative Party members. The more active the member captured, the more points scored.”
It’s believed the launch date was initially pencilled in for after the local council elections in major metropolitan areas, but the release date has been brought forward.
“We’re worried if we wait until after the May elections there won’t be any members to find in major city centres at all, except for at the House of Commons, but players may have trouble gaining access to the palace if they aren’t press or work for elected MPs.”
Concerns have been raised though that take up of the special edition will still be sluggish.
“Would you want your friends to see you’d spent all day tracking down Conservative Party members and catching them on your phone?” LCD Video and Pinball specialist Reg Ular asked.
“Most game players are young. I can’t see them boasting to their mates about going out looking for Tories.”
But the special committee set up by the Conservative Party to brainstorm ideas about how to attract younger voters was more up for it.
“We were going to push for a version of the classic card game Snap, only all the pictures would be pairs of benefit cheats, overpriced studio apartments, tax havens, NHS services for sale, that sort of thing, but this sounds way more hip. This will totally build on stripping away membership of the EU and all the rights that go with it. Young Tories are fiercely patriotic.”
Anyone who does play the game is asked to be careful when catching a card carrying Tory as many have fragile hips, the average Conservative Party member age now being over seventy.
“If they’re younger, they’re likely to be completely, Patrick Bateman level unhinged, and will need distracting by laying out a line of Thatcher collector cards first,” Reg Ular advises,
“the best idea is to shout into the game’s voice function ‘economic migrant’, or ‘overseas development aid’, as that will immediately freeze most with rage and you can just bag them and keep moving.”