Brexit Dad was seen demanding answers from the local watchseller, ‘Time Lords’, today after the present he bought himself for Christmas broke after only one week of constantly being wound backwards.
“I wanted a traditional watch,” LCD’s Roaming Reporter overhead, “a watch that tells the time like time was told before 2016, 2015, 2014…”
Figel (Brexit Dad) continued listing the years until he returned to a comforting date in the 1950’s.
“My dad gave me my first watch when I was five in 1955,”
“We don’t sell many watches you have to manually wind up anymore sir. Although I understand your nostalgia for a simple to understand era.
Actually, why don’t I discount half the cost of this broken watch off the cost of a watch that doesn’t need winding up?” the patient watchseller offered.
“I want a bloody watch that winds backwards,” Nigel countered, slamming his fist on the counter. “It’s why I bought a watch with a winder. You’re a bloody wind up merchant!”
The watchseller paused, examined the broken watch again.
“Have you only been winding it backwards?”
“Since the moment I unwrapped it on Christmas morning. Every little thing, each of us does every day, in this way, we help make a success of Brexit. Time travel is possible. Back to the sunny uplands of the Seuz.”
“I don’t think breaking something that was working well is going to make a success of anything. You’ve just incurred additional expense now and a delay before being able to function at the pace of decades past.”
“Commie pinko libtard snowflake remoaning traitorous bastard. Fix. My. Watch.”
“Please don’t shout at me Mr Narage. I can send it back to China for repairs, but it will take a couple of months to come back.”
This seemed to reassure Brexit Dad.
“See!” he trumpeted, “we’ve started trading with the world already and we haven’t even left yet!”
“Left what Sir? Our senses?”