Rule Britannia took another bold step in global reverse this week with the announcement that page three of the new patriot blue passports will feature an iconic topless model in what is being heralded as a tangible victory for the past.
“It’s really a victory for that tireless Briton Rupert Murdoch,” Theresa May gushed, “it was only a few years ago that treasonous libtard snowflakes forced that great icon of British values off page three of the rising Sun.
But today, we announce the first tangible victory struck against the tyrannical Eurocrats of the EU and their underhand quest to make day to day cooperation between nation states easier.”
Patriots will be given a choice of which famous topless model they want to see on page 3 of their sovereignty booklet.
Samantha Fox is rumoured to be the most popular choice amongst the Leave supporting Labour constituencies.
“Tory leave areas differ though. They are said to have already started a petition to have a fully clothed portrait of Queen Victoria instead. Riding a unicorn with a whip in one hand, a bit of rough in the other and a musical chip inserted into the passport that plays Ride of the Valkyries whenever the passport is opened.”
Complaints by dubious types that there should also be the option to have photo of David Hasselhoff from his Baywatch era on page 3 have been met with official scorn.
“Patriots like tits,” a home office spokesman affirmed, “I personally prefer shags.”
As to which leading light of British political thought will be the first the use the passport and display a pair of breasts in declaration of how into the future the U.K. now is?
“It’s between Boris Johnson and Jeremy Corbyn. They’re going to draw straws to choose the winner who will cross the new hard border in Ireland at 00:01 on the 30th March 2019 and explain to the people there how they did all they could.”