The government has backtracked on not really giving a shit about the fate of homeless, undeserving poor children who don’t work hard enough this Christmas by sending them all a postcard of Hinkley Point C to “warm the little cockles of their hearts”.
“It’s outstanding,” a Home Office spokesbot sent a telegram to LCD to share in the warmth, “just imagine the joy on their frozen little faces when they receive an official postcard from her majesty’s government and realise we’ve invested enough money to solve their homeless issue in an untried nuclear reactor built with borrowed Chinese cash to try and stay in China’s good books when it comes time for every country on Earth to stuff us about on our tariff charter at the WTO. And, this reactor will most likely be mothballed by renewables before it’s completed.”
And given that every project of this nature blows out in time and money, the homeless kiddies of Christmases to come can also look forward to,
“More postcards of Hinkley Point C. Maybe even new customs posts with faulty, rushed IT set ups too.”
There is certainly scope to expand the scheme, nicknamed Homelessness means Homelessness, into many areas of governance.
“The CPS has been hobbled by ideological austerity too,” the spokesbot added, “although you may have missed that as Brexit takes up all the news. There is not really one area of life which the government hasn’t stuffed to a serious degree. We could give the kids whole books of collectable stickers.”
If the poor children save the postcards and stickers carefully they may be able to sell them for profit in years to come.
“It could be the start of a nest egg that provides a deposit for one of the affordable homes which will be built inside the reactor core to meet requirements for cheap housing.”
Children are reminded that the postcards are not edible and maybe radioactive.
This is not to dissuade them from eating them.
“We don’t mind if they glow in the dark.” The government staffer said, “it makes it easier for the bleeding heart snowflakes to find them and do our job of caring for them for us.”