Our technology correspondent can confirm the rumour today of a simple hack discovered which lets any foreign government or media mogul take control of the prime minister, and most of parliament, after experts finally worked out what the hell has been going on in the U.K.
“It’s staggeringly easy to take over Westminster,” Professor Computer advises, “all you need to do is open up a government browser window and go to the prime minister’s home page. You then type in the username ‘maybot’ and password ‘take_back_control’ and you’re off to the races.”
It seems the frighteningly simple security error was actually installed by accident last year when the new prime ministerial robot was activated and put to work in Downing Street.
Warning signs that the integrity of the system had been breached were numerous, it seems, for anyone paying sufficient attention.
“The constant repetition of simple and self contradicting phrases. The obsession with selling bombs to tyrants regardless of the loss of innocent life. And of course, the appointment of a complete and utter buffoon as foreign secretary. These are all the classic symptoms of an infection right at the heart of government.”
It’s believed remedial action needs to be swift before the hacked system demolishes the UK’s economy and chasing significant amounts of highly educated taxpayers away.
Also, if the hack is not dealt with there is a serious risk of food shortages to come and the closure of any last, remaining publicly funded programmes aimed at supporting vulnerable people.
“An update on the 8th of June this year was supposed to include a patch, but it appears to have just made the issue worse,” Professor Computer warns,
“I expect it’s possible the entire system will go into meltdown before whoever has hacked it can complete their mission. So there’s reason to be cautiously optimistic.”