LCD Views can exclusively reveal this afternoon that bride to be Meghan Markle is to wear the famous Windsor family hat on her wedding day just to completely destroy the minds of Daily Mail readers.
“I’m not sure what colour dress she will be wearing,” LCD’s only royal watcher commented, “But I know from my source inside the royal wardrobe that the Queen’s famous EU flag hat is being moved to secure storage as we speak to prevent any attempt to sabotage it before the big day.”
It’s believed the choice of hat is a response to the suspected struggle most Daily Mail readers are experiencing over a non-white woman marrying into the royal family.
“It’s an incredibly difficult issue for them,” our correspondent continued, “I understand the Mail is to set up a special helpline just to help talk to any readers with barely concealed, or totally revealed, racism through the brain busting news that yay! there’s to be a royal wedding, but omfg the bride is not British.”
It’s believed the Queen herself offered the hat to Ms Markle just as she was in the process of asking for it.
“They know they’re going to get on. The first thought both had was how to quietly comment on the lunacy the country is embarked on in a way that was as subtle as a brick.”
The Daily Mail itself is said to be close to boycotting the entire event, unless they can find some dirt on Meghan to sour the ceremony for everyone.
“Believe me they are hard at work digging holes to try and find anything to smear Ms Markle with. She is their worst nightmare. Mixed heritage. Foreign born. Humanitarian worker. Europhile. It’s like the end of the world has come for the Mail, that she should be engaged to a royal.”