LCD Views has been officially chosen to announce the new and bold initiative to solve all remaining minor Brexit negotiation difficulties by transporting Brexiters to all disobedient colonies.
“It’s the obvious step forward,” DExEU brainstormer D Twoplanks explained,
“Australia is getting above its station? Simple. We will send a million Brexiters from the counties there and they will assume places in their parliament.”
This strategy is certain to be successful, so successful it will be cut and pasted across the map.
“Ireland? They’re next. To be honest each time someone brings up the border problem we usually change the subject to how we are going to offer a bung to the EU to settle matters and how we’re not going to pay in the end because our support is based on largely angry baby boomers who have never bothered to learn about our actual relationship with the EU. We’re not about to disabuse them now when there’s 0% corporate tax rates for the grasping.”
Argentina and the Falklands and WTO complications will be solved by,
“Expansion of the existing Welsh colony in Argentina with Welsh Brexiters.”
The potential flare up with Spain and the problems it may cause over “the rock”?
“Not a problem. We’ve a twin strategy. We’re going to project films showing the failure of the Spanish Armada onto the rock on the side that faces Spain, so they know what’s in store if they get spicy. We will also transport a million far left supporters of Catalonian independence into Catalonia so they can continue to take an enthusiastic and uninformed view there and ferment trouble.”
Why not just export remainers as clearly no Brexiter thinks the cost of regaining something we’ve never lost can be too high?
“Are you mad? Who’s going to do the work of rebuilding Britain if we export all the brains and talent overseas?”