Michael Gove is to go on a PR tour de force today, dressed as Doctor Dolittle, to convince the great British public that they can trust the Conservatives with the animals, even though they’re famous for hurting certain animals.
Gove is thought to be the best choice because he’s the most trustworthy man in cabinet.
The push back is a response to the misinterpretation of the government’s actions in parliament when they rejected an amendment to the GREAT REPEAL BILL, no wait, the EU Withdrawal Bill, that would have enshrined recognition of animal sentience in U.K. law, after Brexit.
“Unless we decide to change it with Henry VIII powers after Brexit of course,” a spokesman for the governing coalition at Westminster told LCD Views.
“You can trust us with the animals. Why couldn’t you trust us with the animals? You don’t look like a badger or a fox or a live export or a puppy farmer to me.”
The desire to bring back hunting with dogs and the mountain of dead badgers argue maybe people can’t trust you with the animals?
Although of course, public opinion is split 52%/48% on whether or not science should be listened to when deciding policy.
“Pish. Michael Gove is regenerating as we speak as the next Doctor Dolittle and he will be on the airwaves in his best liquid form, settling over the country all day to make the animals feel secure.”
To further the government’s credibility on this cruelly misunderstood matter Mr Gove will attempt to feed squirrels in St James park at midday. There are also plans to leave him outside Battersea Cats and Dogs home for the night.
“There is absolutely no chance we won’t protect animal sentience after Brexit,” the spokesman added, “even though we rejected that greenies amendment, misspoke about a 2006 act of Parliament to correct the misinterpretation and are now just making promises on future actions. Caroline’s admenmemt didn’t give the animals the protection we want.”
Presumably you want bugger all?
It maybe unfair to mistrust they will protect the animals after Brexit, as there’s bugger all chance of them still being in government.