A government expert took time out of his busy schedule of working out how to knife everyone around him in the back to explain to a confused country that words no longer have any meaning.
“Words. They’re finished. I can assure you that even now, the words I’m using, they mean nothing,” Mr Gove, Minister for pretending to care about animals and things, told a sympathetic interviewer.
“It used to be in the past that the meaning of words would evolve over time, but the meaning at any one point be somewhat fixed by reference to context.”
No more. Done and dusted it seems. Post fact and all that.
“Just listen to all the word spin I’ve produced this morning to try and get us out of having to actually admit we plan to most likely not protect animals that well, but we don’t want to tell you until after Brexit and use Henry VIII powers to do it.”
But he saved his best line of nonsense to use as ammunition against social media, which has caused him some distress in recent days.
“Social media spreading misinterpretations about the EU is excellent. That’s social media at its best and makes my puppet master very pleased. Some say we actually used social media to spread misinformation expertly in the referendum campaign and pretty much every other waking minute of the day when pursuing policy.”
But it seems if the grape vine is working against Michael’s interests it should probably be cut up and composted.
“Look into my eyes and listen. Words have no meaning. At least, not until I want to lie to you again.”
And you can trust Michael Gove as he’s an expert.