The Westminster bubble is at bursting point with excitement this afternoon with the stunning news that Tony “T-Bone” Blair has accepted the new and unelected position of Brexit Tsar in Theresa May’s cabinet.
“It shows just how desperate May is for someone who can stop Brexit in its tracks, before her legacy is ashes and ruin,” a Westminster insider told LCD Views.”Johnson, Davis and Fox were supposed to have screwed it all up and killed it off by now, but somehow they keep clinging on.”
To protect his anonymity we’ll only say our source served as Chancellor for some years, before going into the news business and is famous for singlehandedly solving the unemployment issue in the U.K. by personally filling any vacancy.
“But it’s the only way to get Jeremy Corbyn to actually oppose Brexit.”
The Brexit Tsar’s responsibilities will include being the new face of Brexit, leading the negotiations with the EU alongside that packet of mince and constantly appearing in the media to thank Jeremy Corbyn for supporting the government at each key moment of pressure in the Commons.
“It’s classic reverse psychology,” an aide to T-Bone told LCD, “he’s finally accepted that having taken the UK into a disastrous war in the Middle East on fabricated evidence, just because some thick as Davis cowboy threw him a bomber jacket, no one is going to see him as the King Arthur figure he is, at least not yet. But he really wants to help stop Brexit to try and redress the balance.”
Sources close to Jeremy Corbyn relate that he is the most incendiary anyone has seen him since he became Holy Father.
“He was supposed to be deifying a new abacus for John McDonnell this afternoon, so it could be sold as a relic to fund renationalisation of common sense, but I hear he’s so angry he’s postponed the ceremony until after tea.”
Will the psychological move do the trick? Time will tell, but I’d trust in T-Bone, if he can’t drive Jeremy Corbyn into opposing something than nothing will.