LCD Views have got our hands on general election plans supposedly leaked from the safes of Conservative HQ this afternoon which shows images of a bendy bus chosen as the battle bus for the general election coming December 2017.
We asked our Electioneering analyst to have a look and see what it all meant.
“There’s a lot of MPs to ferry about so they need a long, snake like form of transport,” Harry Harried commented.
“Also, see this rubber section in the middle? It’s designed to allow the bus to navigate around even the clearest codes of conduct or sense of ethics. Especially regarding money, the entire future of the country versus perceived personal interest and any commitments made in the past. It’s an award winning design.”
Not only will getting passed other sharp elbowed road users be made easier by the bendy bus, but it’s felt the passengers will fill more at home in a bus that is able to turn right back around on itself if circumstances demand.
“U turns will be a complete breeze with this bus,” Harry added. “And you see those gymnastist bars that have been installed instead of seating? Imagine the backflips you could do holding those!”
The bus is apparently being fuelled and made ready to hit the road at the drop of the general election hat.
“I expect the catering facilities to be first class too. Although rumours suggest the drinks chosen do taste a bit like bile, but most of the people onboard will be well used to that.”
Look out for the bus passing through your neighbourhood soon. It’ll be easy to spot. It will have a magic money tree painted along the side.