A woman who is supposed to be providing strong and certain government has admitted tonight she doesn’t know what to do and it’s all a shit charade.
“Have you seen the scale of this shambles?” She asked LCD Views’ Amazed correspondent.
“I mean, I expected surprises some days when I took up the heavy responsibility to prove a borderline insane government, but even I’m confused now by what we’ve managed in just a few months.”
LCD Views would like to say at this point we personally believe it’s an achievement.
“Most of today has been spent phoning about to find anyone who knew the answer to the binary question of should I fire that troublesome minister or should I beg her to resign? It was a real doozy!”
The conflict seem to rest on the risk of secrets being spilled if the issue was mishandled.
“I mean, only a very credulous person, like a Brexit supporter, would believe I had no idea what she was doing.
All those meetings with government officials from a prominent foreign government in global affairs, a country situated in one of the world’s ‘hot zones’ and I had no idea? Wow. Just wow. I shock myself.”
We did point out we don’t believe it for a moment and wonder why British money was on the table in the discussions?
“I can’t tell you. I’m like the robot in that film ‘Short Circuit’, I’m alive, but instead of being programmed with competence I’ve had a couple of logs and a flaming turd placed in my CPU.”
We had to get back to watching Twitter for the next surprise from her cabinet of legends, so we asked how she would sum up her government quickly?
“Shit charade. Just that. Although I don’t normally go for three word slogans, so, maybe complete shit charade would be more in keeping with my style? Anyway, I’ve got to go too, I’ve dinner with my employer to celebrate his 25 years at the top.”